The Trouble with Final Smashes
by SmashersUnited
Summary: All of the smashers are stuck in final smash form. Housing 40-some violent video game characters together was bad enough, but now every last bit of sanity the smashers managed to hold on to is about to be chucked out the window... Currently on Haitus.
1. Pikachu

**Disclaimer: I do not own SSB or its characters.**

**This is my first time writing in 1st person. Constructive criticism welcome.**

Pikachu

_Ring Ring Ring…_

Uuuuuuuggh…stupid alarm clock. It can't be 6:00 already.

_Ring Ring Ring…_

This thing isn't going to shut up is it. Fine fine, better get up. I'd better get to the bathroom before Jigglypuff does anyways. That girl is always so obsessive about her looks. How hard can it be for a pink balloon to look likeable.

I got out of bed and left my room. My eyes were too heavy to lift properly. As I head for the bathroom down the hall, I could have sworn that people were screaming. But that couldn't be right.

"RED! Get in here and HELP US! SOMETHING'S WRONG!" That was Squirtle, I could tell by his funny squeaky voice. I wonder what's wrong.

Finally, I made it to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. It was weird that I had trouble getting here. I've walked down that hall with my eyes closed before, but I've never had problems like today: I was bumping into walls and had trouble with turning. Even now it seemed like I couldn't hold still.

I must be really tired. I need my comb; I probably look like a furby right now.

As I try to comb my fur down though, the comb flies out of my hand. What luck. Now I have to open my eyes to look for it.

The comb had landed next to the sink. But when I reach for it, I notice that my paw is…blue? I must be hallucinating. But then, I saw myself in the mirror.

Oh. My. Arceus. I was a freaking blue ball!

Something was terribly wrong. I rushed out of the bathroom and tried to find someone to help me. I was bumping into walls and bouncing up and down at a terrifying speed. I soon realized that I couldn't stop. Oh joy. To anyone who saw me, I'd probably have looked like Sonic on a sugar high.

"Watch out!" I heard someone yell at me, but before I could react, I was pushed into the wall by a sudden, painful blast. At least I stopped moving.

"Sonic, are you ok?" That was Red talking to me. I could hear Squirtle, Ivysaur, and Charizard behind him.

"I'm not Sonic." I muttered.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot Sonic would have been gold." Red replied.

"What? Sonic's blue." Well this morning was turning out wonderful. First I find myself as a big blue ball, and now Red thinks Sonic is gold.

"His final smash form is gold though." Red told me. "It seems like everyone is stuck in final smash form. My pokemon seem to be conjoined together and start attacking every time they open their mouths. That's what you were hit by. Sorry."

Everyone's stuck in final smash form? That explains a lot.

"I'm going to find Master Hand and find out what's going on." Red told me. It was a good idea, since he was probably the only smasher that wasn't affected by what's going on.

After Red ran off, I decided I had better go see what was happening with the other smashers. I decided that I would start on the lower levels and ran off towards the stairs. It was then that I realized I had never learned to control myself in final smash form.

Ignoring the screams around me, I tried desperately to make my way to the first floor. I was still crashing into walls and bruising my head with each corner I tried to round. Stupid momentum. I'm going to learn how to turn if it's the last thing I ever do.

There's a corner up ahead. I'm going to make this turn. Closer, closer, turn! I did it! Hey, another one coming up. I'm going to make this one too. Wait, wait, now! 2 in a row! There's another one, but the stairs are straight in front of me. I'm going to have to skip this one. Wait a minute, why am I turning. Hey! I didn't want to turn! Wait, I can't stop. I CAN'T STOP!

Oh cheesecrumbs…

**These chapters will probably all be fairly short, but I'm going to end up with at least 45 if I do everyone.**

**Make sure you review. And feel free to request the subject for the next chapter.**

**Also, if anyone has suggestions for possible final smashes for Roy and Dr. Mario, let me know.**


	2. Pokemon Trainer

**Disclaimer: I do not own SSB or its characters.**

**I've decided that the subject for each new chapter will be mentioned in each previous one. So, since I used Red in the last chapter, I'll use his POV for this one.**

Pokemon Trainer

Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Of course Master Hand had to choose today of all days to get a spa treatment. How does that even work? But now what am I supposed to do? I can't trust Crazy Hand with this kind of crisis, and I'm pretty sure all of the other smashers are losing it right now.

"Red, now what are we going to do?" I turned around and just barely managed to duck in time and avoid a Fire Blast.

"Charizard! You nearly roasted me. Again!" That was the 10th or so time I've nearly been killed by my own pokemon in the last hour.

"Sorry…" Another Fire Blast erupted from Charizard's mouth and missed my head by millimeters.

"Would you just keep your mouth closed? And where are the other 2?" In final smash form, all 3 of my pokemon were unable to leave each others' sides. I was also unable to recall them to their pokeballs. Wonderful isn't it.

Charizard turned around and showed me his back. It was about the weirdest thing I've ever seen them do.

Both Squirtle and Ivysaur were on Charizard's back. Squirtle was on top of Ivysaur, trying to keep Ivysaur's bulb closed. Ivysaur was using his vines to keep Squirtle's mouth shut. It would have been really funny had the situation been less deadly.

"What the hell...?" That was about all I could say at that time.

"Oh, hey Red!" Ivysaur was the only one of the 3 who could open his mouth without mortally injuring someone.

"Mmf?" Squirtle just noticed me staring at him, and in his shock, he let go of the bulb, which fired a Solarbeam right at him.

The problem was, Squirtle was incapable of being more than 2 inches away from the others, so instead of being blasted back, he fell to the ground comically and opened his mouth by accident.

Charizard turned around at the noise and opened his mouth by instinct. Great going there, buddy. Now I've got a Solarbeam, Hydro Pump, _and_ a Fire Blast heading my way.

Oh joy.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!

That's what it sounds like when a human shaped hole finds its way onto a window. It hurts. Bad.

"RED! Are you ok?" I hoped that was Ivysaur talking. I couldn't tell, my head was throbbing too hard from hitting the ground after freefalling about 6 stories out of a window due to a super effective hit from my own damn pokemon.

"Hey, Red. What are you doing on the ground like that?" That didn't sound like my pokemon.

"Oy, I'm talking to you! Up here!" I looked up in the sky and saw Snake clinging to a rope ladder hanging from a stationary helicopter. Weird thing was, he was purple. That fall must have messed up my vision or something.

"Glad to see you're still alive. What were you doing falling from the 6th floor like that?"

"I got hit by Triple Finish." You wouldn't believe how much pain I was in right now. "What are you doing up there?"

"What's it look like kid? I'm stuck in final smash form! I woke up out here." That seemed a bit creepy, waking up stuck to a rope ladder.

"Say, can you go get me some help or something? I can't move from this spot, and I'm starving."

"Sure, I guess."

"Red! You're ok!" That was definitely Ivysaur talking. I turned around and found a yellow polka-dotted Charizard coming out of the back door, both hands around his snout to prevent unintentional bursts of flame.

"It's unbelievably hard for Charizard to walk down stairs, and he couldn't really fly with us weighing him down or hanging awkwardly off his sides." I could hear Ivysaur behind Charizard, even if I couldn't see him. I probably didn't want to see what color he would be anyways.

"Let's head back inside now. I need an ice pack and a big cushy bed." I really did. Even as we headed back into the manor, I was still seeing orange trees.

**Should be obvious that Snake will star in the next chapter.**

**And I'm still accepting suggestions for Roy and Doc's final smashes. I want to get several ideas before I choose what I'll use.**


	3. Snake

**Disclaimer: I do not own SSB or its characters.**

Snake

I hate my life. I really hate it right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going emo or anything, but it's kinda hard to be happy when you wake up with your boots evidently attached to a rope ladder being suspended a good hundred feet in the air from a helicopter with _no freaking pilot_!

I repeat, I hate my life.

And where the hell did Red get off to anyways? I asked him to bring help about 20 minutes ago.

Then again, with everyone stuck in final smash form, I wouldn't be surprised if he got mortally wounded or emotionally scarred or something to that effect. I'm screwed anyways.

_Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr_

So. Damn. Hungry. I wonder what's for breakfast today. Wait, considering the fact that the chefs would be stuck in final smash form too, maybe it'd be best I didn't know. Oh what I wouldn't give for an 18 inch pizza right about now.

"SNAKE!" That sudden, and very loud shout jolted me back to reality. Unfortunately, it also caused me to lose my grip on the ladder. And now all the blood is rushing to my head.

"Snake? Why are you hanging upside down?" I looked down and saw Pichu standing right below me. His fur was unusually glowy.

"Because you screamed and made me lose my grip. My boots are stuck to the ladder. _That's_ why I'm upside down."

Pichu looked like he was about to respond, but was interrupted when a big sphere of electrical energy formed in front of him and shot right at me!

"Whoa! Watch it!" I'm lucky I work out, or I would have never been able to pull myself back upright using just my gorgeous pecks. ZSS doesn't know what she's missing.

"Sorry! I really don't know how to control Zap Cannon very well. It always seems to shoot when I least expect it. Half the kitchen's already short circuited!"

"Would you at least try to aim that thing away from me? You could have ruined my hair! Do you know how long it takes to get it to look this good?"

"Since when did you become narcissistic?"

That caught me off guard. In honest truth, I'm not. It's just that when you're stuck suspended in the air for a good 80 minutes with nothing to do, it's hard not to start admiring yourself to pass the time. But I couldn't tell that to Pichu.

"Watch out!" Pichu's yell jerked me back to my senses as another Zap Cannon fired at me. Problem was, I couldn't move from where I was.

Ah shit. Only one thing to do now.

I let go of the ladder and fell back upside down. The Zap Cannon passed through the ladder above me without harming it, what the fuck, and the blood rushed to my head again.

"Do that one more time and I'll shoot you." I was officially ticked.

"Sorry. I came over to deliver your breakfast at Red's request. But if you'd rather I leave…"

"Forget what I just said, ok? I'm starving!"

Pichu wore a smug expression of victory before tossing me a sandwich. "It might be a little burnt and messy. I had 3 Zap Cannons go off while making it."

It didn't matter that it was messy. It didn't matter that I was upside down. It didn't matter that it took so long. Hell it didn't even matter that Pichu nearly electrocuted me while he was heading back inside. I was just glad to get fed.

**Yep, Pichu's final smash is Zap Cannon. I didn't want another Volt Tackle. I think 3 Landmasters and 2(or more) Triforce Slashes is already pretty unoriginal on Nintendo's part. I didn't want _another_ final smash copy.**

**Oh, and thank you everyone who's been reviewing. I really appreciate it. Keep them coming :)**


	4. Pichu

**Disclaimer: I do not own SSB or its characters.**

Pichu

What a disaster. This entire morning has been a nightmare. It's only been 1 ½ hours since I woke up and everything's already gone wrong.

I recall seeing Pikachu rampaging wildly through the 3rd bedroom floor hallways. Hell he nearly ran me over when I left my room. Red looked like an absolute mess when he told me Snake woke up outside and needed food. He called me pink for Shaymin's sakes! And Snake, good grief that guy's got it rough. How'd he wake up out there anyways?

As I made my way back into the kitchen, I was horrified. Things were, if you can believe it, worse than when I left 10 minutes ago to deliver Snake's breakfast. I mean sure, I had caused the oven to explode, the fridge to emit dangerous sparks every 5 seconds, and the toaster to catch fire, but I'm pretty sure the ground wasn't covered in soap suds when I left.

"Pichu! Oh thank goddess you're back." Young Link (YL) was soaked head to foot. It was almost comical: the soapy water mixed with that eerie glow from his triforce made him look like a walking Christmas light.

"What the hell happened!?"

"I'm sorry! I was getting some bowls from the dishwasher and my triforce acted up and…"

"Let me guess, you broke it." I was starting to panic a little now. "Do you realize the problem with this picture?"

"The kitchen's flooded?" Did YL really not realize the real problem here?

"Yes. It's flooded. But do you realize why that is such a big problem?"

"The food's going to get soapy?" Insert facepalm here.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF ARCEUS, WATER CONDUCTS ELECTRICITY!"

"But the sparks from the fridge don't travel far enough to hurt us." Insert another facepalm here. YL was being unusually stupid today.

"You're not getting it. I'm not concerned about the fridge. Forget the fridge. What I'm worried about is…" Oh shit, it's happening…

"RUN" YL didn't hesitate when he heard the urgency in my voice. He got out of the water as fast as he could. Just in time too, because the Zap Cannon made contact with the water just as he got out.

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

The entire kitchen electrocuted. All the lights in the hallway flickered and short circuited. We were surrounded by darkness.

"_That_ was what I was concerned about."

"…Oh." YL couldn't have sounded more stupid at that moment if he had tried.

"Well, now what?"

"What do you mean?" Insert yet _another_ facepalm here.

"Let me think. You just attacked the dishwater and flooded the kitchen. I may have just as well set fire to a room filled with dynamite for all intensive purposes. This entire corridor has suffered a blackout. And in case you haven't noticed, WE AREN'T GOING TO BE ABLE TO COOK WITHOUT A KITCHEN!!"

YL sat there speechless. I wasn't surprised. For all I know, his brain might have short circuited along with everything else in the area.

**A little short, I admit. Sorry 'bout that.**

**I just love messing around with the chefs. **

**So, can you tell what Young Link's final smash is?**

**And by the way, thanks for all the ideas for Doc's and Roy's final smashes. I'm starting to formulate Doc's. Now if only I had a few more suggestions for Roy.**


	5. Young Link

**Disclaimer: I do not own SSB or its characters.**

**And just a quick note, all of the characters and personalities in this fic come from my other fic, The Life and Times of Super Smash Brothers. That's why Young Link and Toon Link are in the same tournament. And, in later chapters, Sheik, Zelda, Samus, and Zero Suit Samus will all still be different characters. Sorry for forgetting to mention that.  
**

Young Link

Did I do something wrong? I mean, Pichu can be a fair bit of a jerk sometimes, and it's not uncommon for him to get really angry about something, but he's never yelled at me like that.

Maybe I'm just messed up right now or something. Everything that Pichu has told me seemed fairly obvious, but I just didn't get it. Every question I asked had a really obvious answer that was staring me in the face.

"Um…why is it such a problem that we can't cook now?" I took a risk asking that, and judging by Pichu's expression, I had just made myself look like an idiot.

"THINK, for the love of Shaymin please just THINK for a second. There are over 40 mouths to feed in this manor! Kirby alone could probably eat…KIRBY!"

"Kirby can eat himself?" I knew that probably sounded really stupid. What was wrong with me today?

"What? Are you just trying to be stupid or something? Kirby's final smash is Cook Kirby, right? That means _he_ can cook. I'll admit the idea is scary, but it's all we've got. Go find him, fast!" I'm not entirely sure what Pichu was talking about, but I decided to go along with it.

Admittedly, I was having a hard time getting out of that dark corridor. The blackout had affected a lot of rooms and hallways. Every once in a while, I would bump into someone with my left hand, trapping the unfortunate person in a Triforce Slash. In all honesty, I don't even attack personally, my sword just starts hacking away on its own. The fact that the attack is so bright and the surroundings were pitch black wasn't doing my eyes any favors either.

I don't know how long I've been running around blindly. Hell, I've probably been running around in circles this whole time. Brilliant.

Wait a minute, what's that wind? It feels like something's sucking me in. That's not a good sign, is it? Oh no, it's getting stronger now. Oh Din, my feet are not touching the floor anymore, why aren't they touching the floor anymore? "HELP! I'M BEING SUCKED INTO A VORTEX!"

Plop.

This isn't a vortex, it's a pot of water? How did I end up submerged up to my neck in a giant golden bowl? Wait a minute, a pot of water…that means…

"KIRBY! Let me out of here!"

"Poyo?" I looked up and saw Kirby looking into his pot curiously. Apparently, the hallway we were in now had lights.

"YL, what are you doing in my soup? I didn't know I was having midget for breakfast." Ouch, I don't even know if Kirby was trying to insult me or not. It still hurt though.

Speaking of pain… "Kirby, can you let me out now? This water is really hot!"

Kirby pouted a little, banged his spatula and pan together, and the next thing I knew, I fell butt first onto a hard floor.

"Ow. Um, thanks Kirby. Now, can I get a favor from you?"

"But I thought you hated me." Kirby's reply was so blunt that it really caught me off guard.

"Um…" Wow I really couldn't think up a proper response right now. And having Kirby's icy glare drilling though me wasn't helping. I didn't even know he could pull of that kind of look. It reminded me of Marth when someone calls him gay.

"I don't hate you; you're just a…nuisance when we're cooking." Kirby's gaze seemed to soften. "And speaking of which, Pichu and I need your help in the kitchen with…"

"You mean I can go into the kitchen without fear of being massacred?" Kirby instantly brightened up at that.

"Well, if you want to put it that way…"

"Come on then!" Before I could respond, Kirby grabbed my hand and dragged me back into the dark hallways, his pot was bouncing along comically behind us. It was really quite amazing that Kirby seemed to know where he was going in the dark. I guess he's memorized the route to the kitchen or something.

It was then that I realized Kirby had grabbed my ­_left_ hand…

**Yes, Young Link's final smash is a Triforce Slash. I figured if both the other Links have the same final smash, why should YL be any different?**


	6. Kirby

**Disclaimer: I do not own SSB or its characters.**

**About updating: I've been trying to make daily updates, but it's putting a strain on my schedule (I hate schoolwork). So, I think I'm going to try updating this story every Mon, Wed, and Fri. On the weekends, I will try to update The Life and Times of Super Smash Brothers. Sounds like a good schedule?**

Kirby

Today's just been one heck of a day so far. First, I wake up to find a giant golden bowl in bed with me, then I find a little elf in my soup, then I find myself trapped in a giant triangle being hacked away at like a piece of cheese, then Pichu comes up to me and demands that I be the chef today, then he nearly falls in my soup, and then I nearly get struck by lightning, and now I somehow find myself sitting on the roof of the manor, cooking.

First question that comes to mind: why the roof?

Then, suddenly, there was a big 'bang' sound coming from below me. That was followed by lots and lots of screaming and yelling. I think someone yelled something about eating a bomb.

I guess that's why I'm up on the roof: to avoid blowing up or something to that effect., and to avoid sucking random smashers into my cooking. I'm sure no one in the manor is cannibalistic after all. Though I am a little surprised about the bomb-eating, I thought that I was the only person in the manor gluttonous enough to eat explosives. That sure brings back memories.

Back to cooking now. I've nearly finished all 40-some dishes. Sure, I ate about 2 dozen of them and therefore had to make more, but now, I was working on the last dish. Not bad for an hour of work.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Why do people like making things go boom so much?

"Hey hey! Don't blame me! It's not like I _made_ you eat those! It's your fault for not recognizing an exploding nut when you see one!" Was that Diddy Kong talking?

I turned around and saw Diddy blasting through the doors, which were closed mind you, that connected the roof to the attic, sending shards of wood everywhere. He didn't look like he knew how to fly those rocketbarrels very well, judging by his entrance. It was only his reckless speed that kept him from being sucked into my pot.

"Diddy! You're getting wood into my cooking pot!" I was not happy about this. Wood only tastes good in sweet and spicy foods. I was cooking cuckoo soup right now.

"Sorry Kirby! I can't steer this crazy thing!" That much was obvious.

"What are you doing anyways? And what was that noise downstairs?"

"Funny story actually. See, because I can't steer too well and my peanut popguns go off on their own, there have been quite a few, um, accidents…" Diddy chuckled nervously at this.

"So those explosions downstairs were…"

"Peanuts, yes. Someone ate an exploding peanut that came from my popgun." Ouch. Even _I_ wouldn't eat one of those.

"Look, Diddy, as happy as I am to have some company up here, I don't feel overly comfortable with a monkey in a jet pack armed with exploding food flying around in my cooking space."

"Come on! I won't be any trouble!"

"Somehow I doubt you'll be able to stop yourself from screwing something up." The idea of spontaneously combustible nuts in a kitchen-like setting really bothered me. The fact that Diddy was swerving wildly in the air on what seemed to be unstable discharges of fire from _flammable_ hunks of wood above my pot didn't help much either.

"Please let me stay up here. It's madness inside, madness I tell you! Why if I go back down there, I know that I'm gonna…" Before Diddy could finish his sentence, both of his popguns went off.

"DIDDY!" I was not at all happy about the fact that his popguns were pointed at my pot at the moment they went off. Both peanuts landed right in my cooking and I just barely avoided the explosion.

"Diddy, your peanuts exploded in my soup."

"…sorry."

I peered down into the pot. The pot itself was perfectly ok, but the soup looked fairly charred. Wait, how does a soup get charred?

"Since your peanuts ruined this particular dish, you can have it." I poured all the soup into a bottle, tossed it at Diddy who caught it by his feet, and stacked all the other dishes into my pot to bring to everyone else.

What a heck of a day.

**Yay for Kirby not being a brain-dead food obsessed idiot! I've seen a few people portray him that way, and I don't think he's like that (at least not the brain-dead idiot part). So I decided to make him serious (at least when he's cooking)!**


	7. Diddy Kong

**Disclaimer: I do not own SSB or its characters.**

**And just another reminder: All of these characters have their personalities and physical abilities/disabilities from The Life and Times of Super Smash Brothers.**

Diddy Kong

Kirby sure is scary when he wants to be. He's normally such a giddy, happy, carefree glutton. But that little blob can be damn creepy if he wants to. He looked like he was gonna kill me when I made his soup blow up, and it's not all that bad either.

Well, regardless, at least I finally found a nice place to relax…to a certain degree. It's kinda hard to relax when you're stuck swerving uncontrollably in the air. I mean, I'm upside down right now!

Even so, there's always been something relaxing about staring into the morning sun, even if it is upside down and moving rapidly from side to side. No wait, that's me. Jeez, even after 2 hours and 40 minutes of this final smash nonsense, I still can't tell whether I'm moving or the inanimate objects around me are.

Sigh…I guess it doesn't matter. I mean sure, I woke up this morning with my rocketbarrels already strapped to my back and both popguns stuck to my hands, set fire to my bedroom curtains, nearly blew up 5 times, and caused Wario's gut to explode (not that _that's _never happened before with that guy's flatulence problems), but at least I'm fed and alone on the roof of the manor in peace now.

"LUCAS! YOU UP THERE?" So much for being alone in peace.

"Look, whoever that is, Lucas is not here, so if you'd kindly…" I stopped mid-sentence when a giant blue comet landed right above me. Wait, below me (why do I keep forgetting I'm upside down?).

Then, much to my displeasure, Ness barged out through the door and in an instant, showers of asteroids began raining around us. There goes all hope for quiet sanity.

"HEY DIDDY! HOW ARE YOU TODAY? HAVE YOU SEEN LUCAS?" Ness seemed completely oblivious to the fact that I was in _mortal peril_ due to his PK Starstorm. I don't know whether my instincts kicked in or I was just plain lucky, but somehow I managed to dodge the deadly blue fireballs and get upright again.

"No, Lucas is not here. Now can you leave before I get barbequed!?"

"LUCAS IS ON TV AND YOU SEE I GOT NEW SHOES?" It was then that I remembered that Ness was hearing impaired due to an unfortunate incident of Master Hand's rage and could not hear squat without Lucas's assistance.

"No!" I shook my head violently, while still desperately dodging the comets. "Lucas," I mouthed the word carefully, "is not," more violent head shaking, "here." I pointed at the ground, only to have my popguns go off and make an impressive hole in the roof.

Ness stared at the hole I made. "SOMETHING DANGEROUS IS PLANTED IN THE GROUND?"

I found myself temporarily unable to move due to shock at Ness's stupidity, and therefore did not see the next meteor coming at me.

KSSHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Well, there goes my rocketbarrels. Had I not still been in mortal danger, I would have been dancing in glee at finally being back on solid ground. However…

"NESS YOU IDIOT! I SAID THAT LUCAS IS NOT HERE!" I literally pulled the confused boy off his feet by the collar of his shirt with one of my feet (the popguns were still stuck to my hands) and yelled into his ear.

"You don't have to shout. When you're this close to my ear I can hear you just fine at normal volume."

"Then _you_ speak at normal volume every once in a while!" I was feeling rather ticked right now.

"Um…Diddy. We're rising off the roof." I looked down and realized that Ness was right; we were indeed no longer on the roof. In fact, I had flown over Peach's special animal hedges with Ness still in my grasp. I looked behind me, and to my horror, found that a new pack of rocketbarrels had appeared back there.

I hate my final smash.

"That's it. I give up. I can't win no matter what I do! I can't take these stupid things off, and when they blow up, new ones take their place. I. Give. Up!"

"DIDDY!"

It was then I realized that I had let go of Ness.

**Hooray for Ness's hearing imparedness!**

**Oh, and thanks for all the reviews. You guys really make this authoress happy!**


	8. Ness

**Disclaimer: I do not own SSB or its characters.**

Ness

Ow. Stupid branches. Ow. Stupid hedges. Ow. Stupid ground.

Stupid Diddy. How could he just let me fall from nearly 8 stories in the air? Oh geez, Peach is going to kill me when she finds out what happened to her animal hedges. At least the giraffe still has its neck, even if it's dangling precariously from the body.

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Well, there goes the neck…I'd better get out of here before my starstorm destroys anymore grotesquely shaped hunks of vegetation. Besides, I still needed to find Lucas.

Goodness, Peach sure has a big garden. Where's the path that leads to the manor? All I see are hedges everywhere. The fact that most of my vision is being blocked by star debris isn't helping much either.

Wait a moment, was that a scream I heard just now. It sounded like one of the girls. Ah, it probably doesn't matter; it was just a quiet little shriek, nothing to worry about.

Hang on, with my current hearing condition, loud things are quiet and quiet things are silent. If that scream was quiet, then it must have been loud. Therefore it _was_ something to worry about, right? But who was screaming?

It couldn't have been Samus, she rarely ever talks at all. ZSS yells, not screams. Zelda? Nah, she's got her precious Linky-poo to take care of everything, and Sheik doesn't scream, period. Nana is more high pitched, and Jigglypuff has a squeaky scream, so that means…

POW

Ow! Why am I getting hurt so much today. What hit me anyways?

I looked on the ground and saw…a turnip? Where'd that come from?

POW

Ow! Great. Now I got hit by a peach. Why am I being attacked by food?

"Ness!"

Wow. Someone screamed so loud I actually heard them. I turn towards the source of the noise and find…a really strange looking Peach, or Peaches, I should say.

There's nothing quite as peculiar as seeing Peach glowing yellow and flailing her arms around, mouth gaping, with two cardboard Peach cutouts standing next to her, and petals and peach fruits raining from pink branches suspended over her head. She was standing at least 20 feet away to avoid my starstorm.

"Hi Peach! How are you today?" When I said that, Peach stopped flailing her arms and gaping like a fish out of water, stared at me for a few seconds, then facepalmed.

I then realized that she'd been trying to communicate with me for the last few minutes.

Peach took a deep breath, and started trying to communicate again. She first pointed at me angrily, then made a fist and punched the air, and then pointed at the hedges. The whole time, she looked like she was mouthing her words, but she was to far away for me to see what she was mouthing.

"You want me to beat someone up?"

Peach facepalmed again before flipping her middle finger at me. Then, she pulled out her parasol and walked towards me menacingly. I had a bad feeling about this.

As soon as the petals began surrounding me, my head started to feel fuzzy, my eyelids were getting heavy and I heard a voice calling me to Dreamyland. Nighty-night…

...

Ugh…what happened? And why is my head throbbing? Where am I anyways? And what is this thing stuck to my head?

I put my hand on my hat and felt a piece of paper. When I took it off, I realized it was a sticky note with Peach's handwriting on it:

-

_You owe me new animal hedges, 24 tulip bulbs, a dozen foxgloves, and a new parasol._

_ -Peach_

-

I really wish Lucas was here right now.

**I admit this chapters a bit short, and I apologize. Dialog seems to always make the bulk of these chapters, and it's kinda hard to put in dialog when the 1st person character can't even hear.**


	9. Peach

**Disclaimer: I do not own SSB or its characters.**

Peach

This has truly been quite a day today. It seems as if the entire manor has gone insane. I recall seeing Kirby dashing through the corridors delivering everybody's breakfast. The poor little puffball looked awful, but not nearly as bad as some of the other smashers I've seen.

I distinctly recall witnessing a blackout near the kitchen area, and the clinic seemed to be overflowing with catastrophes. The smashers all seemed to be fairing poorly. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. At least I have a passive final smash, even if it does suck.

Speaking of misfortune, I'm starting to feel a little bad for what I did to Ness. I guess I just lost my temper. Still, it seems like a pretty dumb reason to attack an unconscious boy. On the other hand, he does owe me for all those broken hedges and burnt flowers, and a new parasol 'cause I broke my old one attacking him. At least I left him in the clinic after I was done.

Hang on a moment. Is it just me, or is the ground shaking? And why is it suddenly so cold in this hallway?

"COMING THROUGH!" I turned around just in time to see a giant block of ice hurdling towards me.

Without thinking, I immediately flung myself into the nearest door to escape the ice. I waited a few moments behind the door, my heart racing as I waited for the floor to stop shaking.

"Peach? Was that you?" I think that was Popo.

"Like, yes, it was me you nearly like froze."

"You'd better get out of that room then, and fast." That was Nana's voice, and she was snickering.

"Like, what's the matter me being in this room?" It was then that I took the time to take in my surroundings, and realized with a shudder where I was.

"Oh my goodness!" I smashed the door open and slammed it shut behind me with a bang. "Like, couldn't you have warned me that I had entered like a _boy's_ bathroom?!"

Then I realized that both the Ice Climbers had fallen asleep in front of me due to Peach Blossom. Because their giant Iceberg was right behind them, I couldn't move out of the way. There was only one way I could get away from these two and wake them up.

Sigh. At least no one else is around.

I turned around and got back into the boy's bathroom. The worst part was the peaches that fell from above me; if anyone saw them littering the floor, they would know that sweet little Peach has been spending time in _male_ lavatories. Oh what would Mario think?!

It took about 5 painful minutes before I heard noises in the hallway.

"If you two are up then like move out of the way. I'm like coming out NOW! And like, move that hunk of ice." I heard some scrambling and a funny scraping sound. As soon as it quieted down, I promptly got out.

The most curious sight greeted once I got back into the hallway. The Iceberg was situated about 15 feet away, out of range of my Peach Blossom, and both Ice Climbers were sitting on its side. Nana was unconscious, and Popo was slapping her face and shaking her shoulders wildly while screaming.

"Come on Nana! You can't fall asleep in the cold! You'll catch hypothermia or something. For the love of giant trout, WAKE UP!"

"Goodness, Popo, like stop harassing her! Besides, I though that your Iceberg like could not hurt you two."

"I'm not harassing her, now tell me how to wake her up!" Popo sounded a little hysterical.

"She should have woken up by now if you have, unless she like, has more damage than you."

"Come to think of it, she did crash headfirst down a flight of stairs and into a wall earlier today when she lost her footing and slipped…"

"She'll like, probably wake up in a few days then."

"A FEW DAYS!?"

I took that as a sign to run.

**A/N: Speech mannerisms are not present in thoughts. Hence the name 'speech' mannerism. That is why Peach always says 'like', but doesn't think it.**

**I personally don't think that Peach's final smash sucks, (Those healing peaches absolutely saved me in All Star once) but I guess she does. **


	10. Popo

**Disclaimer: I do not own SSB or its characters.**

**And before anyone asks, I have no idea whether or not I'll make a chapter from Nana'a POV. Considering the fact that she's out cold, probably not, but hey, ya never know.**

**And also, as far as the order or character appearances go, I really don't plan them out much (I'm spontaneous) 'cause whenever I plan a story in advance, things always end up changing.** **I know many of you are waiting for a favorite character to show up, and all I can tell you is patience. I will eventually get everyone, so just hang tight, k?**

Ice Climbers: Popo

I'm going to kill Peach one of these days. My sister and I have always been an inseparable pair. This morning that became literal: Nana and I couldn't be more than 2 feet away from each other or this giant Iceberg following us. Sure there were complications, such as both of us and the Iceberg all falling down a flight of stairs when Nana tripped, or the issue of bathrooms, but we enjoy being together (well, not the bathroom part anyways).

Then Peach has to go and put Nana under some sort of sleeping spell she says will wear off in a few days! Now I'm walking around alone with an Iceberg following me and Nana snoring on top. It gets even worse when Nana falls off the Iceberg and ends up getting dragged behind me by the final smash forces that prevents our separation.

Maybe some fresh air will calm my nerves. I headed for the front door with the Iceberg following me, completely freezing the hallway. Once I got outside, the Iceberg instantly tripled in size. It was quite amazing that that hunk of ice could change size depending on how much room there was around it.

"Popo! DUCK!" I heard someone scream at me. At first, I was really confused: ducks, and pretty much all other wildlife, don't live in the 10th dimension (that's where the manor is located). But when I saw a great streak of light heading towards me, I realized I was supposed to duck.

"Watch it!" I dropped to the ground and heard something wiz over my head. When I looked up, I saw a giant golden stick stuck to the Iceberg.

"Oh Nayru, are you alright?" I turned around and saw Zelda running towards me. Her eyes were creepily golden and she was surrounded by a golden aura. The scary part was what she was holding: a giant bow with a _really_ big and sharp arrow loaded in it.

"Yeah…fine…" The sight of that arrow really freaked me out.

"Let me get my arrow out of your Iceberg." Zelda grabbed the stuck arrow and tried to pull it out, only to slip on the ice and accidentally shoot another arrow…at me.

"Oy! Careful where you're aiming!" I managed to duck in time and avoid the fatal shot. Peach's carnation garden wasn't so lucky.

"Sorry."

"Here, let me." I wasn't about to give Zelda another chance to kill me, especially since another arrow mysteriously appeared on the bow, so I hit the ice once with my hammer, and the arrow fell out.

"Thanks. These Light Arrows can be such a hassle. They just go off without warning. I haven't been able to get within 5 feet of Link all day, which means that I haven't been able to…"

"Ok, ok, that's enough! I'm only 10."

"Right, sorry about that. Say, Popo, where's your sister?"

I pointed towards the peak of the Iceberg. Up there was Nana, asleep and snoring loudly, her limbs hanging awkwardly off the sides of the ice, and frozen drool all over her face.

"Peach Blossom." I explained to Zelda's confused expression.

"Dear Farore, this final smash thing has really gotten out of hand." No sooner had she said that before a Light Arrow shot itself out of her bow at, of course, me.

"Zelda!" I dodged the arrow by rolling to the side. Unfortunately, this caused the Iceberg to move towards me, colliding with Zelda in the process. The sudden jerking movement of the Iceberg caused Nana to roll of the Iceberg, really fast mind you, before hitting her head on the ground. Considering the Iceberg was about 3 stories tall right now and Nana had been sleeping on the peak, that really must have hurt, had she been conscious, which she still was not.

"Oh dear, Nana!" I rushed over to see if my sister was ok. Thankfully she has a really thick skull, because she looked relatively unharmed. I really hope that nothing bad will come from this.

Then I remembered Zelda. I turned around and found her frozen solid, her face contorted comically in shock, and a Light Arrow halfway off her bow, all of which was frozen of course.

I knew that I couldn't just leave her out here. If she thawed out in this wide open area, that Light Arrow could probably kill some unfortunate soul from miles away. That, and who knows what might happen to her if she was simply left defenseless out here with everyone in deadly final smash form. Link would kill me if I didn't help her.

In the end, I decided that shoving her into a closet would be sufficient enough protection.

**I love torturing the smashers :D**

**And don't forget to keep those reviews coming. I seem to have gotten less than usual lately. And to those who review regularly, thank you very much and keep it up!**


	11. Zelda

**Disclaimer: I do not own SSB or its characters.**

**A few things before I get started: **

**First, I know that many people see Nana and Popo as friends not siblings, but the two have always seemed like siblings to me, so that is how I write them. **

**Second, please keep in mind that Sheik and Zelda are separate characters in my stories (I know I've mentioned this before, but just a reminder). **

**Third, thank you everyone who has and are continuing to review. Keep it up!**

Zelda

Well, here I am, frozen solid, wearing a ridiculous facial expression, being blinded by the light of a half shot Light Arrow, and stuffed into a closet. What a wonderful way to spend your morning.

It's only 9:30 in the morning and I've already woken up to see a giant hole in my room's ceiling, nearly impaled Kirby when getting my breakfast, completely destroyed 3 hallways and that large marble fish statue in the backyard (not that that's a total loss, the thing was hideous), gotten run over by a giant hunk of ice, and now, well, you know.

I wonder how long it'll take for someone to find me in here. Under normal circumstances, Link would waste no time looking for me if we were separated for more than 10 minutes, but I kinda scared him off when I ripped a hole through his favorite tunic…

Besides, even if anyone found me here, they would probably run off immediately. Curse that inattentive Popo for shoving me in here in a position where my arrow is pointing at the door.

But then, by a stroke of luck if nothing else, the door was opened by…Sheik! I saw her flinch slightly at the sight of my frozen arrow centimeters from her nose, and then she looked at me, and started laughing.

Judging by the painful contortions of my face, I suppose it would have been fairly hilarious to look at.

Sheik calmed down after about a minute and looked at me slightly more seriously. I saw her jaw move up and down but couldn't here a thing, courtesy of the ice. Now I know how Ness feels.

Sheik waited a few moments, realized I couldn't here her, and sighed. She pulled out her Light Bow, which was casually strapped to her back, and fired a Light Arrow at me.

The ice shattered instantly, which caused my Light Arrow to fire at Sheik, who simply 'caught' the arrow in her bow before shooting it harmlessly at the ground with a flick of her wrist.

"Wow your expression is really funny. Now then, as I was saying," Sheik seemed perfectly calm as she strapped her bow back on her back, "what are you doing frozen in a 4th floor lavatory closet?"

I looked around and was absolutely horrified when I realized that we were indeed in a bathroom, a _boy's _bathroom.

"Popo froze me and dragged me up here! I didn't want to end up in a…boy's bathroom! I couldn't see where he was dragging me!" In my hysteria, I failed to realize that I had shot another arrow at Sheik. But, once again, she casually caught it with her own bow, shot it harmlessly into the ground, and put her bow away.

"How do you have such good control over your final smash?" I was amazed to say the least.

"How do _you_ not?" That response really caught me off guard. The fact that Sheik was being serious and not sassy or anything made it worse.

"Anyways, if this is a boy's bathroom, then what are _you_ doing in here? Everyone in the manor knows you're a girl." I needed to change the subject.

"I overheard Popo muttering something about feeling sorry for whoever opens the closet in this bathroom and got curious. Everyone was too preoccupied with the final smash fiasco to notice."

"Thanks for getting me out of there. I would just die of embarrassment if anyone, especially Link, found me here."

"Speaking of whom, he says you owe him 17 bucks for a new tunic."

"Brilliant." I sighed and decided that the less time I spent in this bathroom, the better. But before I could leave, Sheik stopped me.

"I think it best you cover up your face." Sheik held up a roll of bandages: the kind she uses to wrap her face and arms.

"Why in the name of Nayru would I want to do that?"

Sheik chuckled a little. "It's either this," she pointed to her own masked face, "or that." She pointed at the mirror.

I looked at the mirror, gasped a little, and sighed. "Fine."

It turns out that your face _can_ freeze into a certain expression if held that way too long, and being literally frozen certainly didn't help.

**Why do I keep making the girls go into the boy's bathroom? First Peach, then Nana (implied), then Zelda, and Sheik too. Someone explain this phenomenon (seriously, 'cause I can't)!**


	12. Sheik

**Disclaimer: I do not own SSB or its characters.**

**And I'd like to mention something before you start reading: Sheik does NOT use sarcasm, ever.**

Sheik

It's times like this that I'm really glad that Zelda and I are separate entities. That girl has serious confidence issues. She kept whining that she looked like a mummy with those bandages on and that Link would dump her or something. I highly doubt he's that stupid.

Not to mention that she seemed really emotionally stressed. I had no idea that being unable to make love for fear of permanently damaging your partner could have such negative effects on a person. Maybe that's why Marth can never seem to talk to me using intelligible words, though blathering nonsense doesn't seem the best way to tell someone you like them.

At least the hallway was empty when Zelda and I got out of that bathroom. That girl was sure in a hurry to leave, and now I'm wandering the hallways alone. I wonder where everyone else is.

As I rounded a corner, I noticed fireballs raining from the ceiling and disappearing into the ground. They all seemed to be surrounding one little door. This little scene has broken at least 27 laws of physics, I think…

Might as well see what all the commotion is for, I held my bow above my head like a shield and entered the meteor shower. It's really quite amazing that one bow can take so much damage and still hold strong; I reached the door without a single scratch.

When I opened the door, I found none other than Lucas, hugging his knees and shivering in the corner of the broom closet. Why was I finding so many people in closets today?

"Lucas, has anyone ever told you that you really need to see a psychologist?" No response. Typical. Lucas has been known to stop showering for days if he so much as saw one hairball in the drain. Din only knows what this final smash fiasco has done to him. Only one thing to do now.

THUD

"I DON'T WANT ANY MORE CHEESE!"

Ok, maybe hitting him over the head with a random dustpan wasn't the best way to get a response from the kid, but it was the fastest.

"Lucas, there's no cheese, I just need to talk to you."

"SHEIK! How did you find me here?"

"50-some flaming asteroids falling from the ceiling doesn't go unnoticed. Now then, shouldn't you be with Ness instead of hiding in closet?"

No response…Lucas seemed to be staring intently at my bow, his eyes resembling those of a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck, only his showed comprehension of danger.

"Lucas, I promise I will not shoot you." That got his attention. "Now can you tell me what you're doing here?"

"I can't do it anymore. They're coming for me I know it! There have been explosions and screaming and smoke coming out of every other room! They. Are. Coming! I'M NOT READY TO GO TO ST. PAULENE'S ESTUARY FOR ABANDONED TADPOLES YET!"

SLAP. This boy has serious phobia issues. Who in their right mind is afraid of a non-existent estuary? Why am I dealing with all the crazy people today?

"Lucas, I think the panic is affecting your mind. No one is coming for you."

"How would you know? You've never watched horror movies!"

"You're being paranoid. Now calm down and go to the clinic and find Ness, ok?"

"SCREW NESS! I'M TOO YOUNG TO GET LEECHED!"

"Lucas…"

"They are coming, I swear! I'VE SEEN THEM!! All those creepy little puffball things and funny spiky minions of the evil dancing blob of fat are out to GET ME!"

"Lucas…"

"Don't tell them I'm here, I BEG OF YOU, DON'T RAT ME OUT!"

"There's a spider in the closet."

Lucas was gone before I even had a chance to breath. Honestly, that kid hasn't a clue; spiders don't live in this dimension.

It was then that I noticed that he had run in the opposite direction of the clinic. Seems I scared the poor kid for nothing.

…I wonder what's on TV right now?

**Isn't she such a nice girl?**

**And don't forget to review!**

**Oh, and also, this may be really disappointing, but I'm probably going to miss Wednesday's update. I got two major projects in school due next week and that takes top priority right now. Sorry.**


	13. Lucas

**Disclaimer: I do not own SSB or its characters.**

**Ok, here's the deal, because of school ending in a month, students like me are going to be stressed to the point of insanity (like having 5 major exams within 2 weeks of each other and the fact that my English teacher chose NOW of all times to BEGIN a unit on Shakespeare). Because of this, my update schedule for the next month will be random and unplanned. I will update upon completion of each new chapter, but each may take up to a week or longer if things get really stressful.**

**I cannot wait for summer. Once June 17 comes around, I may be able to get back into a regular schedule. Hopefully. Now then, on with the story.**

Lucas

Ok, calm yourself Lucas, everything's ok: hunky dory peachy keen! Nothing is out to get me.

Oh what am I saying, the apocalypse is coming and I got scared out of my safe-closet by a spider! I don't even know where I am in this freakishly huge manor. I'm so dead.

Sheik was right; I should be with Ness right now. At least there's strength in numbers. Oh if only I knew which way the damn clinic was! I can't tell the hallways apart anymore.

"WHERE THE HELL AM I?"

…No answer. Figures, the one time I actually raise my voice while alone, no where is there to help me.

Wait a minute, what's that music? It sounds like whistles and drums and the pitter patter of puffballs scurrying about. It couldn't be…them, could it?

"Oy, Lucas. Is that you?" Oh no, it is!

"It's the evil dancing blob of fat and his creepy little puffball things and funny spiky minions!"

"What did you just call me boy?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" In your face, Sheik, for not believing me.

"Shut your trap, wouldja? You're gonna wake the dead or something." I stopped yelling when I heard that; I don't want to wake the dead, they're scary.

Hang on, "You're not an evil dancing blob of fat…"

"No duh kid." King DDD was about 15 feet away (avoiding PK Starstorm), clearly ticked, bringing his Waddle Army and that funny music with him. I stopped panicking when I realized that this meant the apocalypse was _not _coming. Sorry for not believing you, Sheik.

"Whatcha doing here boy? Ain't you supposed to be with Ness or something?"

"I can't find the clinic. Can you tell me where it is?"

"I would, but I…" King DDD never finished his sentence, because a waddle dee fell on my head.

"OW! How heavy is this thing?! And how did it get all the way over here?" I stared down at the little waddle dee, who had now fallen into my hands and was staring up at me curiously.

"Those little critters fall just about everywhere, boy. No use trying to get away from them, though I suggest you don't hold him much longer…"

"Why?" Suddenly, the waddle dee kicked me in the you-know-where, effectively knocking me to the ground, before running off. I hope it gets hit by a meteor.

"Hey! What was that for you crazy little…" A waddle doo fell on me this time.

"Feisty little fellers ain't they?" King DDD chuckled as the waddle doo got off my back and waddled over to stare me in the eye. The thing was really creepy to say the least. Only the desire not to get kicked in the face and the pain between my legs suppressed my urge to scream my head off.

"Oy, you there, get on over here right now. Don't make me replace ya with another one of ya guys again!" King DDD's shout startled the little waddle doo. It looked over at the impatient penguin, at me, back at him, back at me, kicked me in the face, and ran over to him. I hope it gets struck by a meteor too.

"This is really painful, can you please tell me where the clinic is now?" I managed to get into a sitting position and faced the imperial penguin. I could also see the waddle dee and waddle doo from before running for their lives among the asteroids.

"Well, ya see kid, I'm kinda lost myself…"

"WHAT?!"

"I think we're somewhere on the 6th floor though…"

"But the clinic's on the ground floor!"

Before King DDD could respond, I got knocked out cold, by a gordo no less.

Good night…

**And while I'm on the topic of differences, I'd like to say that NONE of the characters are invincible in final smash form (what fun would **_**that**_** be?).**

**Don't forget to review, and I'll see you next update (whenever that'll be).**


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